Should I say something?

[CircleSlide]

We have been attending this church for two years now and it has some big problems but we have become close friends with the pastor and his wife. We are really struggling with if God wants us there or not.

Ok the question, this past Sunday the pastor showed a clip from Wild Hoggs, in the clip they used a curse word, it was bleeped out but everyone knows what he said, kick your but only it wasn't butt. Now I didn't like that at all and probably missed the whole sermon because I was so bothered by that one word being used, all be it bleeped out, during a Sunday morning sermon.

Am I being a fuddy duddy? Should I say something. My dh and I were both bothered by it and felt it was inappropriate to use it. The reason I am concerned is he and his wife are constantly telling us that on Monday's all these church members call him and tell him what he did wrong during the sermon. I certainly don't want to be lumped in with them but I feel this is a legitimate concern. What are your thoughts?

[walkbyfaith]

Would you want a good friend to be honest with you about something like this?

If I had done something to offend someone dear to me, I'd hope they would come to me, so we could reconcile it, not in an accusing manner, but to let me know they were offended. :nod

:hug I know how tough this can be. :pray for your wisdom and right decision.

[barb43]

Well, did the clip in general support the point he was getting at in his sermon? What was the sermon about? I'm wondering "why" he used that clip at all. :noidea

Do you generally find his sermonizing to be edifying? Are you growing in your relationship with the Lord through membership in this particular church?

I was close friends with the priest in a Catholic church that had a split over him. I left the church over that. I did grow in my relationship with the Lord while sitting under his teaching and he was railroaded out because he would not support the "good ol' boy" network that was involved in some shady bookkeeping. I became good friends with the pastor and his family at the next church i was a member of (a United Methodist church). The congregation ran off that man because he developed a mental problem, largely as a result of some health problems and medications he took for them. I was terribly upset but he assured me that churches typically shoot their wounded and that's what was happening. We had a church split there too and i was one of the ones who left.

God has been very good about showing me where He would have me go and He has ultimately been the One Who has moved me from church to church at the appropriate time. I, in my weakness, have typically tried to linger longer and stew over whether i should stay or go. My recommendation would be to consider the whole picture of that church and pray for the Holy Spirit to bring you peace about staying or to show you where He would have you go next.

[Legs]

Hi CircleSlide,

Just a thought--what's the difference in the two words for you? Both are crude expressions and certainly low-class but neither are blasphemous! Is it possible that you are sort of offended by the use of the movie in church in the first place?

I'd be most concerned about whether the gospel is being preached in your church, but I also wouldn't be able to sit in the pew again without talking with the pastor (in love, in person and in private) about your discomfort.

ysic,
Legs

[jrbaker]

I feel for ya. Our pastor occassionally says things that aren't out-and-out bad, but make my wife and I cringe when we hear them. He likes to use "humorous" videos every once in a while, too. Although, I rarely find them funny...maybe if he used more British humor... :heh

Anyway, I did say something to him once when he made one of these comments in front of my wife and it really upset her. We were both very gracious about it, and it was a little awkward for a whle but we all get along very well now.

[BlessedinHim]

I dont like to use curse words, but in this situation, the word was misused, but, that word does appear in the bible, too. I would definitely say something if the word was derogatory to a person, as in calling a person some bad name or the really bad curse words people use today.

You might ask him why he used this particular clip and when he has told you, perhaps you will feel better about it, but he will most likely ask you why, and then just politely tell him it made you cringe a bit because even tho it was bleeped, you could tell what he said and everyone thought it and it really didnt matter if they bleeped it or not. The reason for bleeping the word was in effective.

He might re-think his use of clips with bleeped words in the future. Let him know that bleeping words does not work because you think the word it bleeped anyway.

If you approach him with questions, you can get your point across and him enjoying the journey. stay friendly, questioning, and non-accusatory, it will work out.

[Enlightenment]

Am I being a fuddy duddy? Should I say something.

No, you're not being a fuddy-duddy, and yes, you should say something.

I've never seen Wild Hogs, but I did look up this review on the Focus on the Family Plugged In web site. Here's their take on it:



The s-word is trotted out about a dozen times; "a--" close to 30 times. Jesus' name is abused once or twice; God's more than that. "B--ch," "d--n," "h---" and "p---" bring the tally to more than 70. Woody makes an obscene gesture, and a racial epithet makes it into the script.

Welcome to the new, uniquely 21st-century family comedy—so what if it's not rated G? S-words. Sabotage. Gay gags. Nudity. Sequences of genuinely funny laugh lines, a clever twist on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition ("Move the bus!") and even Tim Allen himself weren't nearly enough to distract us from the fact that the sneak-peek showing we attended was crammed with kids. And their parents. And their friends. And their friends' parents. Who brought whom to watch this stuff? And why wasn't anybody leaving, say, after about the 10th s-word and the second naked backside? Right. Because everybody was too busy guffawing over jokes about bestiality, S&M grannies and bags of feces. This is the new family comedy, remember? Come for the goofy midlife crises. Stay for the lingering shots of bikini-clad California girls. No reason to leave. Lots to see here ...


I would suggest to your pastor that showing a clip from that movie was a de facto endorsement of the movie. In other words, members of the congregation might rent the movie with their kids thinking it was OK since pastor used it in his sermon. Your pastor must have watched the whole movie, right? I would seriously question his judgment if he decided to use a clip from a movie that takes the Lord's name in vain numerous times and uses profanity more than 70 times.

If you do say something I would approach him from the angle that using that movie is like endorsing that it is OK to see it, and from what you've read, it's not a very uplifting movie, and totally wrong for kids to view.

As a side note, I don't understand pastors that use worldly movies to make a point in their sermon. Surely there are better ways to make an illustration of a truth of God.

[CircleSlide]

Thanks everyone for your advice. Our pastor has been in motorcycle mode since he bought one a year ago, in fact he is on a motorcycle trip this very week, so he has cycles on the brain.

BTW the sermon was on prejudice, so I guess I have a prejudice against foul language being bleeped out at church. lol We have children and that is what upset me most, sure they hear those words when we are in the world but not during a Sunday morning service. Yes the word was bleeped, but everyone knows what he said and it wasn't used in the biblical sense.

The pastor is human, but he is also a role model and what he says in the pulpit should be beyond reproach. At least that is what I have always been taught.

[Mountain Girl]

Try explaining to the children why they aren't allowed to see a movie that has nudity and cussing in it, after they've seen parts of it in church. That doesn't really make much sense for a preacher to want to use that particular movie, or any movie with that stuff in it. To me, it's inappropriate, and I'd feel uncomfortable about it, and him, too.

[Mountain Girl]

Also, if people are "always calling him on Monday to tell him what he did wrong on Sunday", then............there might be a good reason for it?