Church? No thanks. (Article)

[Caleb]

Why teens are leaving in droves - and what you can do about it

By Rebecca Grace
AFA Journal

Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open the doors. Where are all the people?

Seventy percent of the people, 23 to 30 years old, are nowhere to be found in church on a regular basis for at least a year between the ages of 18 and 22. They become church dropouts, according to a 2007 study from LifeWay Research.

These students who attended a Protestant church at least twice a month for at least one year during high school are leaving the church, and most of them are doing so during their first year of college.

Findings from the study, in which 1,023 adults, ages 18 to 30, were surveyed, reveal that 97% of dropouts give specific life-change issues as their reason for leaving. Only 20% of the dropouts predetermined their post high school departure.
“The most frequent reason for leaving church is, in fact, a self-imposed change, ‘I simply wanted a break from church’ (27%),” according to a LifeWay report summarizing the study. “The path toward college and the workforce are also strong reasons for young people to leave church: ‘I moved to college and stopped attending church’ (25%) and ‘work responsibilities prevented me from attending’ (23%).”

Therefore, it’s imperative for youth ministry to be more than just a “holding tank with pizza,” as referred to by Ed Stetzer, director of LifeWay Research.

In other words, youth want and need church to be more than just a pizza party where they get a five-minute devotional amidst the entertainment. Based on research, Stetzer said youth want to know how to live life. Church involvement that has made a real difference in their lives is a significant reason they keep attending church, even after high school.

http://www.goodnewsdaily.net/modules/news/article.php?storyid=8768

I have noticed in some churches that it's less about preaching the Gospel, as it is about entertainment, which could be said similarly about youth groups as well.

[Proudmommy]

You know, I think some or most of the blame can be laid at the feet of the parents. If parents don't "religiously" take their kids to church everytime the doors are open, and teaching them that Church is where they are supposed to be when it is opened, then why would they grow up to want to go to church?

[raml]

My parents never missed church and always took us and all of us four kids believed Jesus was our salvation but all of us took to going to church only a few times a year for a few years till we married. It was not our parents fault it was just a busy time for us in college and we got a bit lazy about going to services. When a person reaches 18 and is no longer under his parents roof what that person does is his own fault not his parents. We make choices and yes some of them are wrong but all of us kids came back to going to church again when we settled down once again that was our choice. I would never blame my Christian by example folks for my choices once I left their home.

[carmen]

I know that the church as a whole needs to do a better job tackling real-life issues for our youth. There are tons of things that I think could be done differently and perhaps better in our youth programs--and I'm not even close to being an "expert."

However, no matter how good a job churches do with youth and discipleship programs, we still have to remember the following:

Matthew 13:14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

My son is now 18 and is among those youth that have turned away from church (hopefully not forever) in spite of a salvation experience when he was younger. But the blame doesn't always lay at the door of the church, or even at the feet of the parents (though Lord knows there are things I should have and could have done better) is not always appropriate.

Our youth have a choice, just as we did. Even the most perfect parenting and church programs and leaders are not going to always do the trick. We do the best we can as parents and church leaders and must leave the rest with God as we stay on our knees in prayer.

[RobinB]

Might have something to do with them getting into college classes taught by very liberal professors. Even some of the public high schools have a liberal bent these days.

[coffeehubby]

My parents were very faithful church goers, but when I was a kid it was easier to find a church that preached the Word. Now it feels like a woman's encounter group which is fine if their is a balance of subjects/songs men can relate to, yet all the songs are touchy feely and there is very little substance. No sermons on hell, the hope of heaven, it's all about the here and now. Boring entertainment fluff.

[BigglesNC]

Might have something to do with them getting into college classes taught by very liberal professors. Even some of the public high schools have a liberal bent these days.

Shame on those kids for not being able to think for themselves. Seriously, if you have a staunch religious teacher or overly liberal teacher, not being able to use critical thinking to deduce they are a moron earns you a big fat bag of fail.

[cjones]

From the OP's article:

(bolded emphasis mine)

Teacher, apologist and author Voddie Baucham explains it best when he says going to church doesn’t make one a follower of Christ anymore than standing in a garage makes one a car. However, church attendance and communion with the body of Christ are desires that flow from an individual heart that’s been changed by the Gospel.

“For many students, when they come to college, they have yet to begin to own their faith, to make it personal,” Forman said. “They are still relying on the faith of their parents, their church, even their friends. It’s not something they have committed to in such a way that they can stand solidly on it, no matter what comes.”

I like these points that the author made.

Only the Gospel can change a person's heart so they *want* to fellowship and worship with other believers every Sunday. I know it because it's what happened to me. Before becoming a Christian I would laugh at people who would spend hours at church every Sunday, and now I'm truly upset when I can't spend my usual 4 hours or so there! That only came from being made a new creation in Christ.

-chris

[RobinB]

Shame on those kids for not being able to think for themselves. Seriously, if you have a staunch religious teacher or overly liberal teacher, not being able to use critical thinking to deduce they are a moron earns you a big fat bag of fail.


True, but it's very scary how much liberal influence there is out there. If my dss was entering high school again, I would not put him in public school, even if I had to go into debt.

[Caleb]

My parents were very faithful church goers, but when I was a kid it was easier to find a church that preached the Word. Now it feels like a woman's encounter group which is fine if their is a balance of subjects/songs men can relate to, yet all the songs are touchy feely and there is very little substance. No sermons on hell, the hope of heaven, it's all about the here and now. Boring entertainment fluff.

I can't disagree with you there. A friend once commented on how in some worship songs (& I'm not naming names), if you replace the name of Jesus with your boyfriend's/girlfiend's or husband's/wife's name you would have a love song.

[cjones]

I can't disagree with you there. A friend once commented on how in some worship songs (& I'm not naming names), if you replace the name of Jesus with your boyfriend's/girlfiend's or husband's/wife's name you would have a love song.

Sadly, there's a lot of songs out there that fall under that category. Honestly, that's one of the reasons I don't listen to 'Christian radio' anymore. Sure there are good theologically sound songs, but there's so much more that isn't. People forget that we're not supposed to be 'like the world', we're supposed to be different. We're supposed to be salt and light.

-chris

[Jacob]

You know, I think some or most of the blame can be laid at the feet of the parents. If parents don't "religiously" take their kids to church everytime the doors are open, and teaching them that Church is where they are supposed to be when it is opened, then why would they grow up to want to go to church?I think the old expression "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" holds true. You can take children to church when they are small because they essentially do not have any choice in the matter. If mom and dad go, then they go.

When they get old enough to do their own thing, they will follow what they are motivated to do. Taking someone to church all the time while they are young is not going to transform their heart in and of itself. What is going to make them want to fellowship with the Lord's people and be in a local church is the fruit of salvation that works in the hearts of the redeemed.

My salvation experience as a young adult in my early 20's was a solitary experience. My family was religious but were not Christians; thus I never heard the gospel in my own home. I read about the gospel and received the Lord through reading a book about bible prophecy that I had purchased several months earlier.

I did not know any other true Christians for almost a year. But, there were a few changes that immediately occurred inside my inner person that were not of my own doing: (1) I had a desire to know and read the bible, and (2) I had a desire to fellowship with others of the same faith. I just was not sure where to go, (3) and I had a desire to talk to others about the gospel message.

I bought my own bible, and books written on the bible. For one year, I guess you could say that I discipled myself. Then, after one year of being a believer, I knew enough to contact churches and discuss their doctrinal statements to know if they followed God's word or not. From then, I could not keep out of church. I went three times per week because I wanted to.

I believe that all this was the result of receiving the Lord, salvation, and the new life and nature that He puts within each one of us so we desire to do the right things. It certainly was not my own doing.

[lookup]

I'd also like to emphasize the importance of parents regularly praying for their children and young adult "children." This is a supernatural battle that has to be fought not just with rules and by godly example, although those are important, too, of course.

Of course satan wants our children. And those children are going to have to make up their own minds. But why not give the kids an edge by doing some supernatual warfare on their behalf?

We know that satan knows his time is short in these last days, so the battle is heating up even more, and kids are bombarded with ever more "reasons" to walk away from God. So we need to pray harder, I guess.

[Proudmommy]

I think the old expression "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" holds true. You can take children to church when they are small because they essentially do not have any choice in the matter. If mom and dad go, then they go.

When they get old enough to do their own thing, they will follow what they are motivated to do. Taking someone to church all the time while they are young is not going to transform their heart in and of itself. What is going to make them want to fellowship with the Lord's people and be in a local church is the fruit of salvation that works in the hearts of the redeemed.

My salvation experience as a young adult in my early 20's was a solitary experience. My family was religious but were not Christians; thus I never heard the gospel in my own home. I read about the gospel and received the Lord through reading a book about bible prophecy that I had purchased several months earlier.

I did not know any other true Christians for almost a year. But, there were a few changes that immediately occurred inside my inner person that were not of my own doing: (1) I had a desire to know and read the bible, and (2) I had a desire to fellowship with others of the same faith. I just was not sure where to go, (3) and I had a desire to talk to others about the gospel message.

I bought my own bible, and books written on the bible. For one year, I guess you could say that I discipled myself. Then, after one year of being a believer, I knew enough to contact churches and discuss their doctrinal statements to know if they followed God's word or not. From then, I could not keep out of church. I went three times per week because I wanted to.

I believe that all this was the result of receiving the Lord, salvation, and the new life and nature that He puts within each one of us so we desire to do the right things. It certainly was not my own doing.

You are right, and I didn't have enough time to expand on what I was saying. In the end it is the individual's choice. I just believe though that parents who do not make church a priority or make it seem to be a chore rather than the priveledge that it is, it makes it pretty easy for the next generation to walk away. Especially, when those parents don't have a relationship with Christ themselves.