Leaving a church

[70thWeek]

Several years ago, after doing the "church-shopping" thing for two years, the Lord led me to my current church. I have attended there for nearly 4 years now. During that time the church has gone through a lot of transition and only a handful of people remain from the group that was attending when I started going. The church has been very good to me in many ways.

Now, I am faced with the decision of leaving. For a while now, I believe that I have felt the leading of the Lord about this decision. People in my life have told me that I should leave. I have not had a peace about going for a while now. However, I have kept going because I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Now, I really think that the Lord might be leading me to another church. I need to get involved in a young adults group, and my church does not offer that. I am going to continue in prayer to seek the Lord's guidance.

I am not leaving because I am mad or hurt or anything like that. Rather, I feel like the Lord is calling me elsewhere. I am close to a lot of people at the church, including the pastor. The last thing that I want to do is hurt them.

Does anyone have any insight that they can offer?

[cinlynn]

Just be honest. That's the best advice I can give you. :nod

Speak to your pastor and explain to him just what you said here. :hug

Praying for you. :pray

[FrankDH]

Several years ago, after doing the "church-shopping" thing for two years, the Lord led me to my current church. I have attended there for nearly 4 years now. During that time the church has gone through a lot of transition and only a handful of people remain from the group that was attending when I started going. The church has been very good to me in many ways.

Now, I am faced with the decision of leaving. For a while now, I believe that I have felt the leading of the Lord about this decision. People in my life have told me that I should leave. I have not had a peace about going for a while now. However, I have kept going because I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Now, I really think that the Lord might be leading me to another church. I need to get involved in a young adults group, and my church does not offer that. I am going to continue in prayer to seek the Lord's guidance.

I am not leaving because I am mad or hurt or anything like that. Rather, I feel like the Lord is calling me elsewhere. I am close to a lot of people at the church, including the pastor. The last thing that I want to do is hurt them.

Does anyone have any insight that they can offer?


Has the Lord led you to another church or just shown the need to find one? You know why you have to go. You might talk to your pastor and tell him of your need. He should understand and may be able to offer suggestions for a church in the area. A good pastor would want to know if your needs are not being met.

Does the demographic of this congregation supply enough people to merit this type of ministry where you are now? Is it possible you are led to start a group in your present church?

If the Lord had shown me a need but had not supplied the direction, I would tell my pastor I am looking into it rather than presenting it as if a need to move was a given.

[sracer]

I'm in a similar situation. I can say from personal experience, if the Lord has placed it on your heart to leave, then regardless of personal reasons to stay, then listen to Him and leave. Those personal reasons may sound very good and reasonable, but what the Lord is telling you needs to take precedence.

Keep in mind that He may not tell you where to go. He may want you simply to leave. In the journey of finding the right church, you may find that God had a plan for what appears to be a detour. "Storms of direction" come to mind. (Acts 27, 28) Paul was en route to Rome when a storm blew his ship off course. He ended up on the island of Malta... and ministered to people who he wouldn't otherwise have met if it were not for that storm.

[carmen]

Great advice already, particularly what Frank said about praying about whether the Lord might be leading you to begin a group yourself.

Having said that, though, I did want to add one thing. Don't just up and leave. This is your church family and if you go, it will be for honest and legitmate reasons that you have nothing to be ashamed about. Say goodbye to everyone, and just let them know you aren't angry. That God is leading you elsewhere or you would be leaving at all :nod. I think it's so sad when people just up and stop showing up one day when you've served alongside them for any length of time. You really miss 'em and you have no idea what happened or whether you were the one that caused them to go.

[newname]

Great sentiments, Carmen! I totally agree!

[Paidfor]

Great advice already, particularly what Frank said about praying about whether the Lord might be leading you to begin a group yourself.

Having said that, though, I did want to add one thing. Don't just up and leave. This is your church family and if you go, it will be for honest and legitmate reasons that you have nothing to be ashamed about. Say goodbye to everyone, and just let them know you aren't angry. That God is leading you elsewhere or you would be leaving at all :nod. I think it's so sad when people just up and stop showing up one day when you've served alongside them for any length of time. You really miss 'em and you have no idea what happened or whether you were the one that caused them to go.

Fabulous advice, Carmen. My former pastor (retired) once gave a very heartfelt sermon about that very thing. Several people had left. Many had been in the church for a long time. He is a wonderful man and it just broke his heart when people would leave without saying anything. They would just stop coming. These were people he though of as family and he felt very betrayed.