I think we're church hoppers

[jaycee]

:(: I hope this is the right forum to post this. I very seldom start a thread unless its in the prayer room. But, I am concerned about finding a church for my family. We at one time were very active in ministry (praise team, sunday school teaching, youth ministry, mens and womens ministry etc. etc.) At a wonderful church, we have lifelong friends from there, we were married there, baptised there, babies dedicated there. Then the church went in the WOF/Prosperity ways real heavy. Along with that came open sinfulness/divorces/interchurch remarriage/cursing from the pulpit.

Needless to say... the LORD moved us.

Then we went to another church who ironically was started by someone who had left our first church before we did. That went great for a time, then that pastor became sexually abusive of women, did drugs and attempted to alienate men from the church! I say this looking back because while it was going on it was VERY subtile.

The LORD moved us again...

We went to my father in laws progressive Pentecostal church for awhile...we needed healing bad. That was nice, lots of older saints. But, then the Pastor prophesied that in "3 days" something great was going to move in our lives. In 3 days, we didn't see that happen, and both of us just lost touch with the church. I think quietly we felt lied to.

So we moved again (I can't say it was the Lord or not)...

So, we recently joined this large Baptist congregation. We were into non-denom before and I come from a Pentecostal background. The Baptist church is very large, very organized, the preaching is nice although I haven't heard much eschatology or spirit filled speak. They have every class you can think of, they don't harp much on prosperity or money. They are active and present in our community. They assign new members "first friends" to care and call on us. I have nothing bad to say about this church except it is so BIG! My children even have commented several times that they don't like the church because it is so "cold." They have asked "can we go to a smaller church?"

My husband feels the kids might feel that way because it is hard to make friends in a large setting. He says the kids probably just don't feel the attention they used to get in our smaller fellowships. It is more like school than "church family." Of course we'll never get to know the Pastor he's largely inaccessible. We have a care minister according to our alphabet, that we've never met. When we miss several Sundays only one person misses us, the lady who's been assigned to get to know us, our "first friend." Again, the church is very organized and tries to include the new people. It's up to us to go and get involved right?

So why do I feel just like my kids? I want a smaller fellowship. I want sisters like that first church who were like my family. I want to feel warm while I worship.

Am I a church hopper?:confused

[Jany]

Find a church were you feel apart of it - A "church hopper", IMHO, is where one tries to find what "feels" good to them, not what our Lord taught...

What I am trying to say is, find a church where His Word is being taught and I know you will feel comfortable :): <><

[HarbingerSinger]

Am I a church hopper?:confusedYes. :heh (But it doesn't seem to be due to any fault on your part.)


Then the church went in the WOF/Prosperity ways real heavy. Along with that came open sinfulness/divorces/interchurch remarriage/cursing from the pulpit."cursing from the pulpit"? :freaked


Perhaps you could identify the city you live in and get recommendations from other rr-bb members living in the area for smaller, friendlier churches that haven't fallen into apostasy.

[Cocoa1080]

i am church hopping too because I am up at college but to be honest, it doesn't bother me too much. I think I found a good one and in the mean time I am meeting a lot of good people.

also God's word is God's word no matter where it is :D:

[Saint Louis]

Am I a church hopper?:confused

Wow, that's an amazing set of circumstances you've faced! I wouldn't consider you a "church hopper" from what you've said... You're more of a "church refugee", being driven from place to place by nonsense!

It sounds like the place you've found (the Baptist church) is doing well, no? My view is that if the teaching is biblically sound, stay put. Get involved in some of the things outside of Sunday mornings - perhaps you'll get to know the people better. It sounds like they're big because they do a lot of things right (imagine that - nice to hear these days!).

Hang in there, stay in the word.

[allforHim]

I can understand your situation. I "hopped" about for a time too because of church problems.I was 5 years in a church and was very active.It felt like family and that the way it should feel I think. Problems came when we were doing a study on the Spirit. I was the youth teacher and we were studying with the help of this book. The pastor wanted to skip the whole chapter on the gifts of the spirit and I couldnt bring myself to do it. The kids needed to know. Anyway things got real bad and we had to leave. Spent 6 months "hopping" trying to find one that we all felt comfortable. We went to a huge Baptist one for 3months, it was great( and I still like to visit it from time to time) but we needed a family atmosphere. We did get involved in the groups, but just couldnt settle. People said we needed to pick one and just go, that we'd never find the perfect church. I knew that, but still needed to feel at peace with my decision. We then went to this other church, just by chance and I have to say after the first visit, my family knew it was the right one! It is still bigger than I would have chosen and things are not perfect, but it feels right. We've been in the church near a year now and we're all very much involved. It feels great to be part of a family again. I dont know why it took so long to find it, maybe we were looking for what we thought we needed, rather than what God knew we needed. I will pray that God will guide you to the church of His choosing. :kiss

[JAHWinston]

My sister and her family had the same problem with bad luck and are doing a study of the early church fathers and their writings.

[I Believe!!!]

Wow, that's an amazing set of circumstances you've faced! I wouldn't consider you a "church hopper" from what you've said... You're more of a "church refugee", being driven from place to place by nonsense!

It sounds like the place you've found (the Baptist church) is doing well, no? My view is that if the teaching is biblically sound, stay put. Get involved in some of the things outside of Sunday mornings - perhaps you'll get to know the people better. It sounds like they're big because they do a lot of things right (imagine that - nice to hear these days!).

Hang in there, stay in the word.


Yes, I agree with Saint.....it's so hard to develop those close relationships again and I certainly understand where you're coming from.....had to leave a church recently too:sigh . Interestingly we went from a very small church to a very large church and it is quite an adjustment but the pastor is right on with his sermons! The other day I was feeling kind of sad about lost relationships myself but I realized that I can't be like the Hebrews in the Old Testiment yearning for what just wasn't good for them and that there are blessings ahead if I wait on God patiently. I prayed thanking God for placing me where I am now and for what He's about to do, trusting that it's just a matter of time. Funny thing......later that day someone from this really big church called to see how I was doing! :freaked

Guess what I'm saying is while it's hard, and God sure understands that...hang tough, He'll provide some connections. I'll be praying that those relationships you need will come around. :):

[jaycee]

Thank you all so much for your comments. I hear love in each and every one. Church Refugee! That's how we feel.
:pray Praying so much that things will settle down. I live in the Fort Worth, Texas area. If anyone has a recommendation let me know by post or PM. I'd be very happy to visit. It is very sad what goes on in a lot of the churches in this area, apostasy, for real. Pray for our cities we have the biggest mega churches and names, but the sinfulness is over the top-in the church.

[joyttw]

I've never been to Ft. Worth, but one of my favorite books is by a pastor of a church in Ft. Worth -- Pantego Bible Church (www.pantego.org).

Randy Frazee wrote The Connecting Church:Beyond Small Groups to Authentic Community, and our church in Indiana pretty much follows the model laid out in that book. It's great because even though the church can be big, it's made up of "house churches" so you can find a group in your neighborhood (or very close by) and share life with people who are geographically close. (Here is a link to the book on Amazon, you can read an excerpt: http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0310233089/ref=sib_dp_pt/103-7361423-7505461#reader-link )

Have you heard of it?

(btw, we church-hopped for about two years, looking for the perfect combo of solid Bible teaching and good relationships/community, and this is the closest we've found!)

Edited to add: I just found out through yahoo searches that Randy Frazee joined Willow Creek in 2005... he accepted their offer to try to implement his model at their church...