Death of a predator I knew (graphic article)

[Mailman Dan]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17247963/

Many of you might have seen it on dateline already. It went down over a month ago in town. A DA from a small town was tracked down by dateline in their online sting operation. The man had been conversing with young boys over the interent, saying the most perverse things.

I'll spare you the clips from the article. I did want to vent something however. I carried this guys mail for years. The carrier who took over his route lived across the street from him. EVERYONE knew this guy had these issues. He had been arrested and released for solicitation before, but no charges filed because he was a DA.

His parents were nice people. They had died a few years ago, so luckly did not have to live through the horror of seeing all this take place.

Now, i'm not posting because this is some new shock to me, that this occured to somone I knew. I'm posting because I have issues with myself, and my line of thinking.

I have 2 kids....and I have a list of all the predators in my town, and i've been to the door steps of most of them, carrying their adult materials to their boxes and acting as if I was none the wiser...

See, I just don't care. I want them to be exposed, taken away and removed by whatever means to keep them away from everyone else. I can't find any sympathy for these people, and I should. I know whats happens to those who harm children when they die, Jesus said it Himself.

Its very hard to witness to someone who has several counts of sexual assult on a child when you'd rather beat them in the head with a club. I've had chances to, and didn't. I don't want to speak with them, or even be in the same town as them. I don't want them to know my name, or even speak to me.

Despite the amount of evil within these people, I know i'm in the wrong. I should have enough pity, but I don't. Everytime I pass one of them at wal-mart, or a gas station, I simply wish the worst for them.

How do you get over the hate of those so evil? Most of the ones I come in contact with via work, have no sign of any "cure" and say the most lude things.

I was speaking with another carrier about the issue, and he thought the same way I did. He'd kill anyone who harmed his kids, and might kill one if he just thought he'd be a threat, and do so without remorse.

Some of the feeling likely comes from having kids, and your natural desire to protect them. However, some feeling comes from knowing these people are the lowest forum of evil, and wanting to see it gone.

How am I supposed to react? Love your neighbor as yourself? I don't think my neighbors who happen to be perverts going after kids, should get anything less than an old testement stoneing...



Dan~~~>trying to find a balance between love and justice

[Paul Merritt]

You can't get over these feelings by force of will in your own power. You have to give it to God. If you want to feel differently, then ask Him to help you. Remember He is the vine, we are the branches and can do nothing without Him. It may make it a little less difficult to realize that whosoever is in Christ is a new creature. If one of these people were to be truly converted, imagine the power of his testimony. He would also be in a position to win others like him to The Lord!

In Christ,

Paul

[lostinHislove]

I will pray for you.:Pray

[ColcordMama]

Remember that we are to hate the sin but love the sinner, Dan. Yeah I know that's hard to do, but if we hate a child molester for his sin, how does that make us look in the eyes of God, when we are also sinners? Our sins aren't the same as the molester's, but to God, sin is sin. We have ALL sinned and come short of the glory of God. All of us. No exceptions. And there are no degrees of sin in God's eyes, either. Our sin of, say, taking the Lord's name in vain is EQUAL to that of a child molester or murderer or thief. We're all guilty.

If you can't bring yourself to love the molester, then that's the time to turn it over to Him. If you've turned away at a time when you really truly could have witnessed, if you deliberately withheld the message of salvation because of the hatred in your heart, then know this: one day you will stand in front of the throne of God and He will ask you to explain yourself, and He will show you the blood of that person on your hands. Do you really want to go through that? Yes, child molestation is heinous, nauseating, horrible. But it's something of this life, of this earth, and what we are facing is eternity. Eternity. Never ending. Do you want to be the one responsible for one man spending that eternity in Hell because you wouldn't open your mouth?

[Mailman Dan]

I know i'm in the wrong. It is my job to witness, even if I happen to be handing a child molster his copy of Barley legal at the time. Its hard not to judge this sin, as it forever in my mind different. Jesus was very clear about the darkest pit of hell awaiting for those who harm His little ones. Even the most hard heartest person knows that hurting kids is wrong. Its as if your speaking to somone that demonic in nature, as all rational thought must have left them.

I do wish for those who have repented (turned) to come to Christ. However, I do also wish for them never to see the light of day. There are people with several counts of child rape against them, yet served less time in jail than those who got caught with some pot. I still want to see justice done.

I know God's law does not fail, which is also what condems me. My big difference, is I know the One who paid the fine. So where do I start? How do you get rid of hate for those who do the unspeakable? I doubt i'll be inviting them over for dinner anytime soon...

Dan~~~>thanks everyone for letting him vent

[bergie37]

Praying for you, Dan... :pray

[alabama35565]

we have one less to worry about here in town. he passed away a few days ago , he was 80 yrs. old ..............http://img117.exs.cx/img117/5601/n1qshok.gif

[walkbyfaith]

How do you get over the hate of those so evil? Most of the ones I come in contact with via work, have no sign of any "cure" and say the most lude things.



Dan, I suffered at the hands of two men in my 'step' family, the first covering several years beginning when I was 9, and the second in a family visit out of town when I was 12.

I can tell you that for years I hated. I wished these men dead, and I was even glad when one of them died. :sad

When I came to know Jesus, He began working on my life, on my damaged soul, and eventually that work moved to this hate/anger/fear/self-loathing (yes, victims blame themselves in some distorted way). I can honestly say that the healing that took place in this part of my journey was the hardest to date. I finally had to tell the Lord, "I can't stop hating them, I can't stop despising myself for not being stronger, I can't move closer to You without allowing You to take this hate and anger, and I don't know how to do it. Please help me. Please teach me to see them through Your eyes."

I prayed that so many times, Dan, and I can honestly say that the Lord did change my heart and enable me to finally let go of it. I no longer am enslaved to that hate and anger, but instead was empowered to pray for the victims (whoever they might be) of these two men, to pray for justice for the one still alive, to pray that God stops him from hurting anyone ever again, and to pray for his salvation.

Ask the Lord to take this anger from you, to show you these people through His eyes, to lead you in how to pray, and in His faithfulness He will.

And Dan? We don't have to be friends with people like this to care for them the way God would want us to. The thought of sitting down to a meal with the man who used me like he did just makes me kinda ill. :sad I don't hate him anymore, but there's just too much pain there.

:hug

[Witness4Jesus]

Dan, I will be praying for you.

[mikitta]

I think we have to take into consideration that this sin affects not only the child victim, thier family and the molestor, but society as a whole on every single level. Each child who sufferes in secrecy causes deep wounding to every single one of us. This heinous thing is a strong hold of utter darkness from the heart of the pit of hell itself. Any molestor (that is anyone who has embraced the urges as part of themself) is an envoy from that place in his (or her) own spirit. They have willingly abdicated their basic humanity in favor of becoming demons clothed in human flesh.

Granted the love and sacrifice of Christ is sufficient to save their sacrificed souls, if they would repent and believe on Him. But that is a mighty big if, because God has turned them over to the hardness of their own hearts, the depravity of their own minds. Unlike drug addicts, alcoholics, sex addicts, gamblers, shopaholics or rageaholics, there are so few individuals who have recovered from the sickness of child molesting that it is not inaccurate to say there is no such thing as a repentant molestor who has truely turned away and turned toward Christ. If there were such an animal, I guarantee he would be the unique exception to a very well established rule.

Do I hate molestors? I dispise their actions. I dispise their presumptions upon society. And admittedly I have no pity whatsoever to spare upon their person. In my opionion, anyone who does something like this gets ONE shot to make good with the rest of society. A second convicted offense (which regretably may include MANY offenses) should carry a mandatory death sentance. As a society, we have given them too much understanding and not enough strong boundaries with concertina wire strung around them.

God Bless,
mik

[Caleb]

Our pastor brought up an interesting comment on fall retreat, that we are commanded to LOVE everybody, but we're not commanded to LIKE everybody. I feel that you can't control who you like or don't like. Our pastor also stated that just because you forgive someone, it doesn't mean that you have to trust them. Even if you forgive someone, it doesn't mean that you relinquish your feelings to feel that they should be punished if they do something wrong.

[allforHim]

I too spent my childhood being attcked my these people. It destroyed who I was as a person for a long time.When I came to Christ, He renewed me and made me a new creation, pure and spotless, praise God. I thought I'd forgiven the man ( distant family memebr) until I met up with him a few years later and the hatred I had in my heart was shown to me. I knew that these feelings were holding me back so I prayed until my heart was changed (took about 18 months) The Lord showed me my own sins and what sins He had to forgive me for. Its all ugly to Him, unacceptable. The Lord is able to change and save the most horrible of hearts.Dont limit Him. The man or woman saved from this life can still be used mightily by God. Now I know its hard, my husband still wants to kill the guy who did it to me, but God is asking you to let it go.Dont do it for the predator, do it for God. Now I do agree with protecting children! I dont want any child to bear the trauma I did, keeping neighborhoods notified about these people is right. Its wisdom to watch out for dangers, but dont let it make your heart hard. I will pray for you too mailman.

[Iblvnjc]

It might help lessen your hatred towards them to consider that if you turned the clock back one generation, these very same predators might be considered the victims as many of them were molested as children (or so I've read). That's where they learned how. Hate the sin, love the sinner.

[Resting In Him]

I appreciate those who shared their experiences as victims from this type of sin. It's beyond description as to the pain these experiences can cause in ones life.

My story is a little different in that I wasn't a direct victim of sexual assault, but the sister and adopted daughter of the victim and perpetrator.

The sinister desires of these types are truly to be pitied.

I loved my adopted father deeply yet because of the evil condition he lived with I realized as a very young girl that he never actually cared or loved me. His desire was for my brother and his feelings toward me seemed to be one of repulsion.

The disasterous affects this had on my brother were unimaginable, and for myself, it wasn't until I became a young adult that I began to realize why I suffered so many agonizing conflicts within.

Jesus was/is the answer for all that, and I am so thankful for His death, burial and resurrection that has provided grace for me to go beyond all the hurt and pain. The anger was healed as well.

One consequence remains however that only eternity will erase, and that is the grave disappointment at having had to live those experiences. Even so, His grace has proven over and over again to me that great truth which is... "all things work together for good to those to love God".

My pain and anquish has brought me to the foot of the cross and to his healing not just once but has been an ongoing experience. It wasn't a once and for all thing, but gradually, as the need arose, His grace was always there to provide for that need. It continues still to this day - and I'm almost 64 yrs. now. Often I'm reminded that He died for those sins and for the healing and strength to grow beyond the consequences and to live in His abiding presence which allows for the victory, the joyous and peaceful life and the ability to be thankful. With those four attributes at work in our lives we bless Him and in return we are blessed. It's so wonderful to have the presence of the Lord in our hearts continually.

[BeachBeliever]

I don't think that anyone but our Father G-d can change a heart (yours, or even theirs) and suddenly change things for you - allowing you to freely witness, but I can say that Good can surely come of this.

By realizing that the anger and repulsion that you feel towards these predators (at their sin) is:

1). Just a drop in the bucket compared to the repulsion that G-d feels towards All sin;

- and -

2). G-d hates their sin just as much as your sin, my sin, or anyone else's sin.


Allow it to show/teach you that sin - no matter what kind - is horrible, ugly, repulsive, and wrong.

Blessings to you!

- Beach

[Mailman Dan]

I can't argue with the responses. Oddly enough (or by design) one of them on my route came out to get his mail. This one is one of the "high risk" predators, having more than one child on his list.

I didn't speak to him, just tried not to hate him. I can still say with all honesty, i'll always hate the failed legal system, knowing there are these "high risk" people who spent less than a few months in jail for their crimes.

Despite the fact I know God can change people, they still need to be removed from society. Those with repeat records don't really seem to show any sign of wanting to change, and the type of items they get in the mail follow that line of reasoning as well.

Still, this issue of hate is my own fault, coming from me. I hope these people do change, but i'm also certain many of them won't, and we'll be hearing of these unspeakable acts until Christ comes.

Dan~~~>glad for the input of those wiser than I

[I Believe!!!]

Dan, I can totally understand how hard this situation must be for you. It's hard to fight against these feelings that so easily come upon us at times. I was thinking, what if you took a positive action. Have you thought about leaving a tract for some of these people?

Maybe in leaving a tract (or bible..on the porch separate from the mail) that could change your thinking a bit so that when you see them or go to their homes you can pray for the seeds of that tract or bible to take root instead of dwelling on these negative feelings about what they've done. Perhaps they need someone to pray for them. Just a thought.......


I'll be praying. :):

[allforHim]

Mailman, dont be so hard on yourself :kiss your response is just that of a protector of the innocent, its understandable and natural, and that's what we are natural flesh. Your right we must protect our kids because the law doesnt.Dont try to approach these people, just pray for yourself, for the kids in your area and when you are able for this guy to see and feel reality!

God bless :hail AllforHim

[Bystillwaters]

You all make me so happy and proud that I am a Christian !! and that I share my life with other Godly Christians here(no matter that it's via the internet). Thanks be to Jesus Christ. We are truly blessed that we are able to surrender our own wrath and hatred so that we can begin to see the true suffering that goes on in the world. Both my wife and I also experienced various forms of abuse when we were children. Forgiveness of those who trespassed against us is the cornerstone of our faith... sometimes thats hard to do though.