Am I being improper?

[Comfort me]

There are very few Christians where I work. Many of them curse,cuss, and talk poorly about their wives. I pretty much stick to myself but some of these guys seem to make a concentrated effort to try to get to know me. The problem is I know these guys are not healthy for my walk with the Lord. They start conversations by saying rude things and thinking it will open me up. I often come across as being emotionless and uncaring some tell me. I want to know am I handling all this improperly?

[EverlastingLife]

No, I believe you are handling it properly by not compromising. Best not to lower yourself to their level of conduct because it will be nothing but a bad influence on you.

___

[SeaDreamer]

I don't have an answer except that my husband has the same problem and handles it the same way. :):

[Comfort me]

It is very difficult to find good Christian friends around my age(I'm 36). It seems most people are very defensive.

[70thWeek]

I don't think that it is wrong to say that you don't appreciate the way that they talk, but in a work environment, teamwork is essential, so I would try to get to know them on some level.

[Comfort me]

It almost seems like Satan has planted these people in my life. They are very evil and they do not bring anything good to the table.

[EverlastingLife]

It's definitely an obstacle in your life. You should avoid them on anything thats not work related.

Unless of course you ever get the chance to share a testimony or God's Word in one way or another to them, perhaps you can even get a soul saved. If they are apathetical to this than theres nothing you can really do, just avoid them whenever possible.


___

[Black Eye Susan]

Comfort Me, you know - maybe God put you in those "evil" people's lives because he wants you to shine brightly for Him! :): Remember, Jesus said that He came into the world not for the righteous, but to bring the sinner to repentance. YOU may be the only light of God that these people see. Just because you are around them, does NOT mean that you will be like them, or that you are "bad" for being around them. You need to stand firm in your faith and convictions as a Christian. But you can LOVE these sinful people. Remember, we as Christians - still sin too. Instead of seeing the terrible things these people do, why not try to look on them with compassion? These people are only behaving the way that they know. They don't have the Holy Spirit in them to tell them right from wrong. So we cannot expect them to live and behave as a Christian would. You know, I think God is calling you to take a stand for your faith, love these people, and be there for them. They will see that you are different, and God may use you in this situation. God bless!

[BHiles]

Don't forsake the assembling of yourself with believers. It is imperitive to be around those of like beliefs for this very reason. You need to understand that you are not alone. It helps your boldness.

[MedicDave]

I'm around a mix of "educated" secular athiests. They're students and graduates of a prestigious private college and yet they talk like sailors and dress very provocatively, even around young children and senior citizens. The words they say in public are very, very bad.

Sometimes I luck out and work a different shift with mature Christian adults. It's weird, like night and day.

[retire2006]

I myself am a union construction worker so I know somewhat of what you are talking about. Just because they talk and act that way does not mean that you can not be around them or not talk to them. Some of the most powerful witnessing that I have done has been to fellow construction workers. They know what I belive in and they kindly tone down their languauge around me. You never know a couple of these guys may want to reach out to you. Just keep your moarals and if they start talking stuff walk away. They will get the hint and maybe some may say maybe I should not talk that way,

[JimB]

There are very few Christians where I work. Many of them curse,cuss, and talk poorly about their wives. I pretty much stick to myself but some of these guys seem to make a concentrated effort to try to get to know me. The problem is I know these guys are not healthy for my walk with the Lord. They start conversations by saying rude things and thinking it will open me up. I often come across as being emotionless and uncaring some tell me. I want to know am I handling all this improperly?

Interesting. Do they know you are a Christian? One thing to know is you cannot act emotionless and uncaring. I the best way to act caring is to inject yourself into part of the conversations. They need to know why you are acting that way, why you do not want to speak ill of the wife or why you do not want to be a jerk.

This can actually be very healthy for your walk and very helpful to them as well. It will cause you to express why you are a Christian and why you do not want to be a part of that particular activity. Maybe God put you there for them?

I used to work in an environment similar.

They actually used to tease me for not cussing and for me saying words like “dadgummit”. Though after a while many of them started saying that also instead of :censored

One guy asked me why I did not cuss. A couple of reasons were given, he already knew I was a Christian and that was one reason. The other I gave was that I said I believe that cursing is a weak minds attempt to communicate. Basically, if you are not intelligent enough to use adult words then use your four letter ones. :heh He was of course shocked.

After a while it does wear off on people. Your life is a witness without saying too much to them. Some men feel like they have to be rude and talk like that to be men, some have never had an example any different than them.

Have you ever read the story of Dave Roever? http://www.daveroever.net/index.html

He was severely injured in Vietnam and now is an evangelist. He tells the story that while he prayed at night at his bunk there were 3 guys who used to spit on him and do other similar things to him. He did not fight back. He never thought he got through to them. He used to call them pervert 1, pervert 2 and pervert 3.

Then one day some decades later he got a phone call from one of the 3 perverts. He did not even know the guys name but he identified himself as Pervert 3 (or 1 or 2??) then he knew who he was. This guy was in tears and had fallen so low he had no were else to go but to God. He called the very guy whose life witness had assured him there was something better than what he had. The guy came to Christ.

What I am saying is don’t necessary stay away from these guys but interject your life witness and even question why they talk about their wives etc.. I think your could be a powerful witness maybe not today but perhaps tomorrow.

Just my .02 cents

[JimB]

I myself am a union construction worker so I know somewhat of what you are talking about. Just because they talk and act that way does not mean that you can not be around them or not talk to them. Some of the most powerful witnessing that I have done has been to fellow construction workers. They know what I belive in and they kindly tone down their languauge around me. You never know a couple of these guys may want to reach out to you. Just keep your moarals and if they start talking stuff walk away. They will get the hint and maybe some may say maybe I should not talk that way,

:thumb Exactly! it took you one paragraph to say what it took me a whole page to say. :pout

:heh Powerful words you have spoken.

[Pyrogenesis]

There are very few Christians where I work. Many of them curse,cuss, and talk poorly about their wives. I pretty much stick to myself but some of these guys seem to make a concentrated effort to try to get to know me. The problem is I know these guys are not healthy for my walk with the Lord. They start conversations by saying rude things and thinking it will open me up. I often come across as being emotionless and uncaring some tell me. I want to know am I handling all this improperly?

Na, I think you're doing the right thing. I do the same thing at work too; everyone know's I'm a Christian though coz I work in a singlet (Hot industrial factory) and they can see the 'Jesus fish' and Cross tattoo on my shoulder. Because I'm the supervisor I control the music that get's played and I tell people what's appropriate ;): They work by God's standards because I tell them to!

[Rebecki]

Well, you don't want to be so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good either. There is a balance between the two. The more you seclude yourself from your coworkers, the less you will be doing for the Lord. You cannot share the love of Christ if you seclude yourself away from unbelievers.

No one says you have to be best friends with them, but being open to conversations and such will get you farther in the long run. When the talk gets coarse, leave. They'll get the hint eventually.

Good luck! :thumb

[Chrystalwuzhere]

I work with these same type of people every day. I am in the world, not of it. Therefore, just because they behave themselves in a sinful, and crude manner, it doesn't mean I have to. If I alienate myself from them because they are sinners, then how on earth can I be a witness to them?

I don't participate in coarse conversation, and they know it. I refuse to. The thing is, I will be a light for Christ whether in the gutter, or on the mountain top, and that is not conditional upon the people I am surrounded by. It is dependant upon me.