Lost my Christian witness with an unbeliever and feel terrible!

[charly7]

Hi, Guys,
I used to participate on a message board for a minor heart condition I have - I quit today after telling off and cursing out another member. I feel so bad. This man is a very militant anti-Christian, atheist, secular humanist, evolution-believer. He is always cutting down anyone who mentions their faith and how it helps them deal with their problems, etc. He makes jokes at others' expense and picks on people when they are going through a bad time. In other words, he is a major jerk. But, knowing this man is a non-believer, I have been praying for him and trying to be civil to him because he knows I'm Christian and I wanted to be a good witness to him for my faith. Well, today I lost it when he was picking on another member and attacked me. I cursed him out (online that is), told him what I thought of him and then quit the board. I feel bad, but I really don't want to apologize to him. I've asked for God's forgiveness but I'm embarrassed to go back and say I'm sorry to this man and also I am not sorry for what I said to him but only sorry for the offense to God and for the fact that I lost my self-control. What should I do? This man needed someone to say something to him, I think, but I could have done it in a lot nicer way. I feel like my spiritiual walk is not that good because I lost control of my temper (I was having a very bad day, emotionally and physically). Do any of you ever completely lose it? I am a normal Christian or should I wonder if I'm really saved?
Thanks!

[seachelle76]

Hi, Guys,
I used to participate on a message board for a minor heart condition I have - I quit today after telling off and cursing out another member. I feel so bad. This man is a very militant anti-Christian, atheist, secular humanist, evolution-believer. He is always cutting down anyone who mentions their faith and how it helps them deal with their problems, etc. He makes jokes at others' expense and picks on people when they are going through a bad time. In other words, he is a major jerk. But, knowing this man is a non-believer, I have been praying for him and trying to be civil to him because he knows I'm Christian and I wanted to be a good witness to him for my faith. Well, today I lost it when he was picking on another member and attacked me. I cursed him out (online that is), told him what I thought of him and then quit the board. I feel bad, but I really don't want to apologize to him. I've asked for God's forgiveness but I'm embarrassed to go back and say I'm sorry to this man and also I am not sorry for what I said to him but only sorry for the offense to God and for the fact that I lost my self-control. What should I do? This man needed someone to say something to him, I think, but I could have done it in a lot nicer way. I feel like my spiritiual walk is not that good because I lost control of my temper (I was having a very bad day, emotionally and physically). Do any of you ever completely lose it? I am a normal Christian or should I wonder if I'm really saved?
Thanks!


I've done this on a message board before that was atheistic in nature. About two months later, I was still feeling pretty guilty. So, I ate crow and pm'd the guy I came down on and apologized. He was cool about forgiving me. This won't leave you alone until you admit your mistake and ask forgiveness. Even if he doesn't forgive you, it will help you to move on and repent.

[antitox]

Hi, Guys,
I used to participate on a message board for a minor heart condition I have - I quit today after telling off and cursing out another member. I feel so bad. This man is a very militant anti-Christian, atheist, secular humanist, evolution-believer. He is always cutting down anyone who mentions their faith and how it helps them deal with their problems, etc. He makes jokes at others' expense and picks on people when they are going through a bad time. In other words, he is a major jerk. But, knowing this man is a non-believer, I have been praying for him and trying to be civil to him because he knows I'm Christian and I wanted to be a good witness to him for my faith. Well, today I lost it when he was picking on another member and attacked me. I cursed him out (online that is), told him what I thought of him and then quit the board. I feel bad, but I really don't want to apologize to him. I've asked for God's forgiveness but I'm embarrassed to go back and say I'm sorry to this man and also I am not sorry for what I said to him but only sorry for the offense to God and for the fact that I lost my self-control. What should I do? This man needed someone to say something to him, I think, but I could have done it in a lot nicer way. I feel like my spiritiual walk is not that good because I lost control of my temper (I was having a very bad day, emotionally and physically). Do any of you ever completely lose it? I am a normal Christian or should I wonder if I'm really saved?
Thanks!

Now don't start wondering if you're saved. You'll never measure up, so don't think like that. We all screw up. The bible is all about people that screwed up.

Now, just from your post, it appears this guy was an aggressive provoker. He was probably seeking to upset somebody, and usually the people that do get upset from such people are the ones that have a good heart.

I guess we all have our limits, but he was probably due for a good spanking regardless. I know how it feels, I've done the same thing too.

I'm sure he'll be more wary of you. That's not altogether a bad thing.

I would say not to apologize unless you really believe you should. There have been times where I apologized and afterward realized I shouldn't have and I was sorry I did. I know that doesn't sound Christian, but I truly believe those cases exist. Just be sensitive to the Lord on it, that's your best bet.

[deafchristian]

we are sinners and we are bound to lose it sometime :) So talk to God whatever you feel guilty about.

And then apologize to that guy. It will probably shock him...but then again he probably had christians saying they are sorry all the time. Anyway he had heard, and you did your job trying to save him so it is time for you ignore him and move on. Don't waste your time on this guy when another soul is in danger. This guy probably will have someone else or something will happen to him that will convince him that he is lost.

[Hawke 05]

That nudging you are feeling is the Holy Spirit who dwells within you. If you were an unsaved person you would probably have the feeling "He got what he deserved.", but as a Christian the Spirit is urging you to apologize and ask forgiveness. Think what a testimony that can be in and of itself, the world says revenge is the way, but you will be going counter culture by putting yourself out there to apologize. Also remember that even if you do this and he (this guy) comes down hard on you, the Lord still forgives you and when you stand before Him you will know you did the right thing in this situation. You are His child, and He loves you regardless, we all fall short of the glory of God, even after our salvation. The flesh still wars within us, and we are going to stumble, yet we have to confess it to the Lord and know we are forgiven, and then, if we can, we should reconcile the problem. This will be a testimony to him AND to others, and I will be praying for you in this matter.

[TEXASGRANDMA]

I say apologize and then end any discussion with him. Most likely he will react badly because he does sound like someone who is out to see how far he can push you. Sadly most of us have been in your shoes. I did not use any cussing but I did have to apologize on another Christian board for losing my temper when a Christan said that anyone who believed in the pre-trib rapture was not capable of reading. I now avoid that person. He knows my buttons and loves to push them. But, don't be so hard on yourself. You are not perfect, but then I have yet to meet anyone who is.
betty

[Pegmo]

as a Christian the Spirit is urging you to apologize and ask forgiveness. Think what a testimony that can be in and of itself,

Good post. I totally agree. It might be the painful thing to do, but its the right thing....

[I Believe!!!]

Perhaps the very act of apologizing will be a testimony in itself.:):

[Selah]

Perhaps the very act of apologizing will be a testimony in itself.:):


Amen!

Apologizing to non-believers leaves a huge impact on most of them. Nobody does that these days--how many times has someone, even a Christian, come back out of the blue and admitted that they made a mistake, that they were wrong, and to ask for forgiveness? It just doesn't happen very often.

I recently had to "eat crow" and ask forgiveness to my boss for a rude comment. I suspect that they used it to mock me to some of the other employees afterwards (I am almost certain of it), but you know what? I upheld my witness to that man.

Apologizing (and asking forgiveness) to God sometimes is not enough. If the sin also involves someone else, we need to apologize to them too. That is what Jesus wants us to do.

The amazing thing is that as bad as this situation might have been, you can redeem it by asking for forgiveness. It's that simple. And many times, living your faith out like this in front of other people can often plant more seeds than acting perfect externally. Believe me; I have witnessed it.

The sacrifice is that it hurts being humbled in this way. But if you are willing to pay the price, God can use this situation for good in this man's life. :nod

[RhondaH]

Amen!

Apologizing to non-believers leaves a huge impact on most of them. Nobody does that these days--how many times has someone, even a Christian, come back out of the blue and admitted that they made a mistake, that they were wrong, and to ask for forgiveness? It just doesn't happen very often.

I recently had to "eat crow" and ask forgiveness to my boss for a rude comment. I suspect that they used it to mock me to some of the other employees afterwards (I am almost certain of it), but you know what? I upheld my witness to that man.

Apologizing (and asking forgiveness) to God sometimes is not enough. If the sin also involves someone else, we need to apologize to them too. That is what Jesus wants us to do.

The amazing thing is that as bad as this situation might have been, you can redeem it by asking for forgiveness. It's that simple. And many times, living your faith out like this in front of other people can often plant more seeds than acting perfect externally. Believe me; I have witnessed it.

The sacrifice is that it hurts being humbled in this way. But if you are willing to pay the price, God can use this situation for good in this man's life. :nod

Amen Silah! :clap