How to talk to someone

[BevS]

Last night, around 11 pm :(: my sons Josh, 21, and Joel, 20 got an heated discussion about homosexuality. Both of my sons were raised as Christians. Joel now attends a Weslenian church. Josh on the other hand, as for his believes goes has been thrown out the window. Josh was saying that someone was born that way. Joel on the hand was trying to tell his brother that it is a sin and it is a choice. (I agree with Joel) But Joel tried to talk Josh regarding what the bible had to say about it. No avail. Josh regards the bible as not as God's word. So the question is how can we talk to Josh regarding his relationship with jis Savior? Josh has lots of issues going on with his life. Lots of anger.

[Paul]

So the question is how can we talk to Josh regarding his relationship with jis Savior? Josh has lots of issues going on with his life. Lots of anger.

I'm sorry Josh is dealing with anger. I have a 5 year old son named Joshua.

What does Josh think will happen to him when he dies? What are his religious beliefs. The simplest way to talk to someone about Jesus is to point out that they are sinners and Jesus is a Savior.

[Joshua's Gen]

I'm sorry (((Bevs))). :hug

I felt strangely conflicted while reading this..

Paul has sound and simple advice. :thumb

[Paul]

Paul has sound and simple advice. :thumb

I have been called simple minded many times so it's no surprise my advice is simple. :B:

[BevS]

But how do we (Joel and myself) talk to Josh regarding his salvation? Can we talk to him on very basic level (without him getting angry) and tell him of his need of a Savior.

[BevS]

Jpsh is taking a religion class at a junior college . Its a comparision of religions taught by catholic priest. (according to Josh what the priest says must be true)

[chris_h]

But how do we (Joel and myself) talk to Josh regarding his salvation? Can we talk to him on very basic level (without him getting angry) and tell him of his need of a Savior. Well, the best "method" I've found is from the teaching of Ray Comfort. I'd recommend you start by listening to their two foundational lessons "Hell's Best Kept Secret" (http://www.livingwaters.com/listenwatch.shtml) and "True and False Conversion" (http://www.livingwaters.com/listenwatch2.shtml), and then read the W.D.J.D. article (http://www.livingwaters.com/wdjd.shtml) on how to put it into practice. They also have tons of free resources (http://www.livingwaters.com/m_equip.shtml) that are very helpful, as well as tracts and stuff at their store (http://www.livingwaters.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?) to use. Today I just got the hardcover version of their Evidence Bible and several tracts.

Ray also works closely with Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains and the Left Behind movies, and they've put together an exciting TV show about this, called The Way of the Master. In fact, I just finished watching an episode on TBN, a "Behind the Scenes" look at their ministry. It'll re-air every Wednesday night at 9 and Saturday at 12:30 Pacific time.

I hope you find these materials useful!

[blitzkreig]

Jpsh is taking a religion class at a junior college . Its a comparision of religions taught by catholic priest. (according to Josh what the priest says must be true) There is problem number 1. Study in "Religions" is not a good idea until someone is grounded in the Word.

The best thing you can do is pray. Get Joel to pray... and everyone else who you know to pray as well. Post in the Prayer request forum. Ask everyone at your Church to pray. I would guess that the Lord is convicting Josh for some reason and he is in a struggle...

[chris_h]

There is problem number 1. Study in "Religions" is not a good idea until someone is grounded in the Word.

The best thing you can do is pray. Get Joel to pray... and everyone else who you know to pray as well. Post in the Prayer request forum. Ask everyone at your Church to pray. I would guess that the Lord is convicting Josh for some reason and he is in a struggle... :nod

You don't need to bury your head in the Koran to witness to a Muslim. You merely need to bury your head in Holy Scripture.

[seeker42]

I would not talk to him about his salvation at all....really... ( I will explain).

I would separate his ideas about salvation from ideas about society. ANd if he is open to talking about ideas concerning society, I would stick with those.

I would also not believe his statements about his views - since obviously his views are in flux. If he still does not talk about salvation after 6 months, I would worry a bit at that point.

I would run out and buy a copy of "Beyond Belief to Conviction (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0842374094/qid=1098749272/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/002-1651423-1839205?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)". It sounds like he had beliefs but not convictions, and there is a difference. In college, only convictions count because beliefs are easily replaced.

Most parents either don't take the issues of the college campus seriously, or decide to stay out of it. That is too bad, since that usually means that they are losing their kids either to secularism or alternate religion.

If parents had trained their kids for this moment (college), that would not be a problem. But most Christian parents don't because they don't know how.

The good news is that its Not too late.

I know most people believe the purpose of college is an education. That is only the OFFICIAL purpose. The actual purpose is to change the values of your kids, and professors take this as a personal challenge. Don't be misled into thinking that this is happening by accident. It's not.

If your son talks to you at all, you should take that as encouragement. Many college kids either do not talk to their parents at all, or lie to their parents about what they are thinking. You seem to have a son who treats you with some degree of honesty.

You might think that this is only natural, but in this day and age, nothing is "natural".

Kids accept the values they have been taught or that they have grown up with, until a DIFFERENT system (worldview) is presented as an alternative.

At that point, it becomes an issue of which advocates can articulate not only their views, but the basis for their views.

To simply have a conclusion is not sufficient. Regardless of what you have or have not done, it sounds as though this young man has many many questions.

And he is just going through the process of working those views out. He will feel a certain way one week and a totally contradictory way the next. That only means he is working on these things.

What he obviously is NOT willing to do, is he is not willing to take any of his old views for granted. Those views, and every basis which underlies them, needs to be defended and explained in a calm and reasonable way.

I hope he will not feel condemned for the act of thinking. ANd he will also want to be treated with respect, and have adult conversations. If he is approached with the premise that he simply AUGHT to agree with you because you are a parent, I think he would experience that as a lack of respect on your part towards him.

Many Christian parents think that their kids will absorb their values by "Osmosis". For the most part, the parents know little of christianity, its history, or its personal reality (even when they are saved).

According to "Beyond Belief", more than 90% of Evangelical Kids who describe themselves as "Born Again" are planning to never come back to church as soon as they leave the home. In other words, they never receive the answers that are satisfactory about WHY Christianity matters.

The point is not whether or not you have failed. It is much too early to draw that conclusion. But you would probably need to expect that you would be catching up and doing some serious reading about what your son is reading, and what some of his questions are.

If you do not invest the time to do everything you can to defend your views, and if you do not demonstrate direct relevance not only to his points, but also to his assumptions, you will spend a great deal of the rest of your life wishing you had.

After you find out about 1. the situation on Campus 2. the material he is exposed to, and 3. the material which is available for a strong defense of Christianity, then Yes - I think that in addition to personal preparation, that Prayer is also part of the right answer.

Most Parents are totally unprepared for this and totally overwhelmed. But no matter what, it would be a mistake to leave this task of defending your worldview to anyone else. (many parents compound the problem by thinking that their Pastor will be able to handle this...which is usually ...absurd).

I would expect that your son would also be angry and upset with his parents. The reason is that if he is having to have these discussions (or if they are taking place), it means that these questions are not ALREADY answered. And therefore for him to be thrust into situations for which he may conclude that his Parents should have ALREADY prepared him, would not put him in the most "cooperative" frame of mind.


Seeker