Problem at church...how would you handle it?

[MrsG0529]

We have a new guy coming to our church. He called our Pastor last week and talked to him and wanted us to pick him up for church on Sunday morning. You could tell from talking to him that the guy was kind of "off."

Sunday morning rolls around and my husband and another man go to pick him up in our church van. My husband gets back and says, "Yeah, the man is definitely off his rocker."

He proposed marriage to a woman Sunday morning. A woman he had begun talking to just that morning and had never seen before. This was my pastor's MIL. She just kind of brushed it off.

The man came back to Sunday night service without incident.

Pastor checked around with some other churches and found out he had been kicked out of several for being "disruptive."

Last night he came back. He tried to kiss one of the other women. This woman is in her 80s and I don't think has even touched a man since her husband died several years ago. She was just shocked and she was very upset.

How do we handle this situation in a Christian manner?

[Sam]

Is the new guy also elderly?

[AnyDayNow]

When you say "How do we handle this?", who is "we"? Do you have a church board?

Years ago I was a deacon in a small Baptist church where a very similar situation occured involving a middle aged man. The Pastor and the board were informed and we went to the man and told him he was not welcome there again unless he behaved himself in the church building. He was told specifically about the complaints against him and who made them. He left that Sunday night and we never saw him again.

Your leadershiip should handle these things. They should never be handled by individuals within the church assembly. Jesus gave Authority to "bind or loose" in matters of discipline like this, but that Authority was only given to the leadership.

[MrsG0529]

Our church does not have an acting board right now. We have been on a status where our general council watches over things of the church because of things that happened in the church in the past. So no, right now we do not have an acting board. It is something we are working on with a leadership course so that we can now attain "general council" status without being supervised so closely.

No, this man is not elderly. He is 34, I believe.

Edited to add: We are what is considered a district supervised church. I had to look up the correct terminology.

[Ben Ready]

What AnyDayNow said. That's the best way to handle this situation. If individuals get involve it will make it personal, but if the leadership take care of this it will be from the congregation as a whole.

[Ruckus]

There are a number of ways to handle it biblically, however, speaking as one with a crimimal justice background I would consider your visitor to be someone with a maternal fetish - aka sexual predator. He could be deviant, serial, or just off key? Based on the little info you provided and couple w/the fact that he was asked to leave other churches, I'd be very leary.

Biblically? I would sit down with him along w/a group of other men and discuss all the punishments regarding sexual sins in the Torah.

just my .02

[Sam]

No, this man is not elderly. He is 34, I believe.

Yikes!! He does seem a bit off. Does he have family you can reach. Maybe it would be more tactful to go through his family - in case there is a bit of mental illness.

[mrshoward]

This does sound to me like the guy is mentally ill and may need medication. Someone should lovingly speak to him about it. He is not "off his rocker," he is ill. He may have no idea that his actions are aberrant.