When do you know it's the right time to leave a church? [Archive]

Singlesis

February 9th, 2004, 07:42 AM

Wow. Seems many of us are struggling with the same issues in our churches. I love my church, even teach Sunday School there. But I have issues with our current preacher. I have prayed and prayed, and even visited other churches... but don't have a true peace either way yet. I love the church and the people, but the "leadership" is going astray. Some have left, many stay on just waiting for him to retire or resign (he's been there 4-5 years already), while others have the 2-faced approach: kiss his tush then trash him behind his back. Even the deacons are divided on his "policies" and where he's taking things.

Advice? Comments? Testimonies?

KrispyKritter

February 9th, 2004, 08:20 AM

How do you know when it's time to leave a church?

Usually around noon... cuz I start to get real hungry.

cindyw

February 9th, 2004, 08:59 AM

well, first of all I would never leave a church (specially one you've been involved with) without speaking to the Pastor to see if maybe you aren't understanding him/his teachings etc.

IMHO, many leave churches because of "carnal" reasons: don't like the music (too old fogey), people didn't "talk" to them (yet they don't make an effort to really get involved), they didn't get picked to sing/play in the chorus/band......etc. Those are WRONG reasons to leave IMHO.

Right reasons: Church becoming worldly and Pastor being ok with that. Preaching which avoids the WHOLE word of God (doesn't want to offend), immorality, lack of character in the leadership (refusal to abide by I Tim. 3's standard of lifestyle/conduct of a bishop/elder/deacon). Focus on Church growth/outreach without equipping the saints to "do" the work through BIBLICAL discipleship.

The truth is: The Church is FOR the CHURCH and those who TRULY hunger to know the Lord. It is NOT a haven for those who desire to remain in their sin and not be convicted of it/confronted for it. The job of leadership is to teach/preach the WHOLE Word of God so that the "sheep" can be fed and grow up in the Word........Just my thoughts. Blessings in Jesus, Cindy :):

Patty T

February 9th, 2004, 09:03 AM

Have you asked God about this? I firmly believe the final decision should be His and not ours. As humans, we can always find reasons to justify leaving or staying. But the truth of the matter is that God should be the one we go to with these types of questions, because only HE knows why you're there to begin with.

Praying that He will give you clear direction and confirmation about His will for your life in this area.

Patty

John Tyson

February 9th, 2004, 09:07 AM

Grace and peace to you all.

Originally posted by cindyw
well, first of all I would never leave a church (specially one you've been involved with) without speaking to the Pastor to see if maybe you aren't understanding him/his teachings etc.

IMHO, many leave churches because of "carnal" reasons: don't like the music (too old fogey), people didn't "talk" to them (yet they don't make an effort to really get involved), they didn't get picked to sing/play in the chorus/band......etc. Those are WRONG reasons to leave IMHO.

Right reasons: Church becoming worldly and Pastor being ok with that. Preaching which avoids the WHOLE word of God (doesn't want to offend), immorality, lack of character in the leadership (refusal to abide by I Tim. 3's standard of lifestyle/conduct of a bishop/elder/deacon). Focus on Church growth/outreach without equipping the saints to "do" the work through BIBLICAL discipleship.

The truth is: The Church is FOR the CHURCH and those who TRULY hunger to know the Lord. It is NOT a haven for those who desire to remain in their sin and not be convicted of it/confronted for it. The job of leadership is to teach/preach the WHOLE Word of God so that the "sheep" can be fed and grow up in the Word........Just my thoughts. Blessings in Jesus, Cindy :):

Very well said cindyw! Very well indeed!

God bless,
John

MarkD

February 9th, 2004, 09:14 AM

"Usually around noon... cuz I start to get real hungry"

HA! That's a good one, Krispy. True, too, I might add.

Seriously, though. MrsG, you need to ask yourself why you want to leave. Good reasons and bad reasons are different for every person.

I've had my own experience in leaving a church, and like someone said earlier, it is not a fun experience. It can be particularly heartbreaking.

When we truly examine ourselves and why we would want to leave a church or stop fellowshipping with a particular body of believers, it boils down to two issues.

A. Personality clashes.
B. Doctrinal disagreement.

In my opinion, it is usually not a good idea to leave a church based on a personality clash unless it is severe and it hinders your walk with the Lord.

When it comes to doctrinal disagreement, however, you should find a fellowship that believes along the lines of the bible (first and foremost) and then along the lines of what you prescribe to.

Do you have a list of doctrinal statements? Your own personal doctrinal statements with biblical support? The reason I ask is that there are doctrinal disagreements that should cause you to seek another church (ie: the divinity of christ, propitiation, etc.) and there are doctrinal disagreements that should not necessarily cause you to seek another church (the timing of the rapture, for example).

It's kind of like an "A" list and a "B" list. Any strikes on the "A" list and you should be out of there. Only after so many strikes on the "B" list should you consider the possibility of moving on.

You need to know in your heart (and on paper) what the "A" list consists of and what the "B" list consists of.

You also need to know in your heart how much disagreement you are willing to put up with (and also how much you would ask other to put up with concerning you).

And like Cindyw said, you should always try to talk to the pastor before you decide to leave. You may be misinterpreting something, or you may be the rebuke that they need to get back in line.

I'll be praying for you. I know it's tough. My family is still recovering from when we removed ourselves from a particular church two years ago (for doctrinal issues, in case you're curious).

In Christ,
Mark

MrsG0529

February 9th, 2004, 09:37 AM

Originally posted by MarkD
In my opinion, it is usually not a good idea to leave a church based on a personality clash unless it is severe and it hinders your walk with the Lord.

How about if it is so severe you cannot show your face in church? I know it sounds dramatic but it is THAT bad.

The things that are being said about me have the entire church in an uproar. I am at the middle of all of it. I approached my pastor privately about some issues I had with things going on in the church (i.e., allowing teenaged boys and girls to supervise small children alone, a huge no no in my book). Now, somehow, the entire church knows that I was the one that made it an issue and everyone is mad at me. It is being said that I only made it an issue because I did not like the pastor's daughter, which is untrue. Now my pastor's wife will not speak to me, the pastor's daughter will not speak to me, and my own son will barely speak to me because I don't trust teenagers. :frusty THIS is what I'm talking about.

cindyw

February 9th, 2004, 09:48 AM

Originally posted by MrsG0529
How about if it is so severe you cannot show your face in church? I know it sounds dramatic but it is THAT bad.

The things that are being said about me have the entire church in an uproar. I am at the middle of all of it. I approached my pastor privately about some issues I had with things going on in the church (i.e., allowing teenaged boys and girls to supervise small children alone, a huge no no in my book). Now, somehow, the entire church knows that I was the one that made it an issue and everyone is mad at me. It is being said that I only made it an issue because I did not like the pastor's daughter, which is untrue. Now my pastor's wife will not speak to me, the pastor's daughter will not speak to me, and my own son will barely speak to me because I don't trust teenagers. :frusty THIS is what I'm talking about.

Then you need to go back to the Pastor, tell him your frustration and ask him to handle this situation. Tell him that this situation has gotten so out of control that it is affecting your desire to remain there. Personally, I agree with you about unsupervised teens watching small children. The fact IS they get distracted when they are together (the teens) and they aren't as mindful as they should be. Also, the issue of "potty" , etc.........NOT GOOD. Your Pastor NEEDS to handle this. JMHO. Blessings in Jesus, Cindy:):

MarkD

February 9th, 2004, 10:21 AM

"I approached my pastor privately "

<sigh>

Oh, I know how that goes. In my opinion, your pastor dropped the ball on this one. When you discuss something privately with him, it needs to stay private. I know that they will more than likely discuss issues with their spouses, but it needs to stay within the confines of your trust.

I would go to him and let him know of your disappointment that a private matter has become a public spectacle. That you brought a legitimate concern to his attention and it would seem that it was released to the general church body with a negative spin.

I agree with you, btw - the childrens ministry was one thing that was very high on our list when we looked for another church - we have a 4 yr old and a 7 yr old. Any church that had teenagers running the childrens ministry was crossed off our list. And there were more than one, I might add.

Yes, this is hindering your fellowship to the degree that it becomes uncomfortable going to this church. I would let him know this, and I would let him know that he needs to make every effort to fix it.

You need to make sure, though, that this is done in a spirit of prayer and gentleness. He may have handled this like a clod (hey, let's call a spade a spade, after all), but he is human and we should handle all situations like this in a spirit of prayer and gentleness (shouldn't we?).

If he is unwilling to try to reconcile the situation, you may very well need to move on. If this continues to disrupt the body of Christ, then it is the responsibility of all parties involved to try to heal the disruption as best they can. Unfortunately, that may mean your moving on, even though I don't think you're in the wrong.

But this is definitely a situation that requires prayer and tact (on the part of all parties involved). I would take this issue to the prayer request forum and ask people to help you out.

In Christ,
Mark

Beth

February 9th, 2004, 10:51 AM

I am wondering if anyone has left their church because of the Alpha course being brought in?

Joseph Eley

February 9th, 2004, 12:13 PM

I agree with you about unsupervised teens watching small children. The fact IS they get distracted when they are together (the teens) and they aren't as mindful as they should be.

Shouldn't we judge people on their character and not their age. Im sure the pastor chooses people he can trust.

GloryBound

February 9th, 2004, 12:31 PM

In my life, I've lived through FOUR situations where the pastor was caught in major sin and forced out. Kinda makes one distrustful and skeptical when it happens time and time and time and time again.

And in three other churches, the pastor was unwilling to deal with troublemakers and would rather keep them in his church than their innocent victims. Money talks. NO one should have to cry their way to church every sunday because church will be the most miserable experience of the week.

There was the sheperding fiasco. I left before he got to me. The question was "If I told you to do something and God told you to do the opposite, who would you obey?" The "correct" answer was "you, pastor". The "incorrect" answer resulted in a revocation of your membership and an escort to your car with a threat that you will be arrested if you try to come back.

It's hard to have to change churches. But it's the end times apostacy. Falling away from the faith. Starting at the top. Pray hard for your pastor and for your church. We did, the bad guy left and we have a really awesomely good situation right now. Totally the result of MUCH prayer.

Elizabeth_S

February 9th, 2004, 01:22 PM

Originally posted by MarkD
"I approached my pastor privately "

<sigh>

Oh, I know how that goes. In my opinion, your pastor dropped the ball on this one. When you discuss something privately with him, it needs to stay private. I know that they will more than likely discuss issues with their spouses, but it needs to stay within the confines of your trust.

I would go to him and let him know of your disappointment that a private matter has become a public spectacle. That you brought a legitimate concern to his attention and it would seem that it was released to the general church body with a negative spin.

I agree with you, btw - the childrens ministry was one thing that was very high on our list when we looked for another church - we have a 4 yr old and a 7 yr old. Any church that had teenagers running the childrens ministry was crossed off our list. And there were more than one, I might add.

Yes, this is hindering your fellowship to the degree that it becomes uncomfortable going to this church. I would let him know this, and I would let him know that he needs to make every effort to fix it.

You need to make sure, though, that this is done in a spirit of prayer and gentleness. He may have handled this like a clod (hey, let's call a spade a spade, after all), but he is human and we should handle all situations like this in a spirit of prayer and gentleness (shouldn't we?).

If he is unwilling to try to reconcile the situation, you may very well need to move on. If this continues to disrupt the body of Christ, then it is the responsibility of all parties involved to try to heal the disruption as best they can. Unfortunately, that may mean your moving on, even though I don't think you're in the wrong.

But this is definitely a situation that requires prayer and tact (on the part of all parties involved). I would take this issue to the prayer request forum and ask people to help you out.

In Christ,
Mark

My thoughts too. The Pastor did not respect the concerns. I would hold him accountable for this mess and he needs to right it. This is extremely poor leadership on his part.

Prayer is definitely needed. And the Pastors wife is being a jerk. (sorry, she is).

I would tell them you are disappointed that the misunderstanding has gone this far and that you have lost confidence in his leadership. How are you to learn and fellowship with this body, if the Pastor will not lead in this matter?

cindyw

February 9th, 2004, 01:44 PM

Originally posted by Joseph Eley
Shouldn't we judge people on their character and not their age. Im sure the pastor chooses people he can trust.

On a personal basis, yes, but from my experience with teens, there should be a FEMALE adult present------to change diapers, take to the restroom, etc. Also, you CAN'T do a background check on teens and I DO personally know of a teen (a churched boy who "appeared" very responsible) that molested two younger boys, so............that is why the need for approved adult supervision. :):

HVAC

February 9th, 2004, 02:05 PM

Originally posted by Beth
I am wondering if anyone has left their church because of the Alpha course being brought in?

Ok. I'll bite.

What's the Alpha course???

MarkD

February 9th, 2004, 02:24 PM

"What's the Alpha course???"

check here for info straight from the horses mouth:
http://alphacourse.org/default.htm

A couple of discussions about it from RR (all I could find - I know there was more at one time):
http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=126279&highlight=alpha+AND+course

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=111519&highlight=alpha+AND+course

My jury is still out on the Alpha course. It has pros and cons, but in the end it is just a tool.

A tool like a gun, though. In the wrong hands, it can do a LOT of damage.

I wouldn't leave a church just because they utilize the Alpha program. I would leave a church if the utilized the Alpha program in an irresponsible manner.

======

Oh, and cindyw is right about the teenager thing. My experience has shown that teenagers (as a general rule) are not as "on the ball" as adults.

Raphael

February 9th, 2004, 03:34 PM

Poor reasons to leave a church:

1) Carpet color clashes with favorite suit.
2) Baptistry water too cold.
3) Pastor is walleyed and you're not sure which eye to look at.
4) Bagworms found in flower arrangement.

Good reasons to leave church:

1) Sermon constantly interrupted by gunfire.
2) Dun notices in collection plate.
3) Revival preachers: Paul and Jan Crouch!
4) Bagman found in flower arrangement.

But seriously folks:

Are you able to grow as a Christian? If your spiritual gift does not - or cannot - manifest itself in such a way as to become a blessing to others in the congregation - or to such an extent as to make yourself feel fulfilled, or experiencing a challenge - than maybe you're in the wrong part of the Body of Christ.

Mommy2KandM

February 9th, 2004, 03:40 PM

I am more then a little bothered that your pastor seems to be a gossip.

If someone comes to their pastor in private.. then he should keep it that way. If he is the only person you told.. then He is the one who spread around WHO it was that complained about the teens watching children. I certainly wouldn't want to trust him with deeper issues if this is how he handles smaller ones.

MrsG0529

February 9th, 2004, 03:51 PM

Originally posted by Joseph Eley
Shouldn't we judge people on their character and not their age. Im sure the pastor chooses people he can trust.

It isn't a matter of who I trust. In this situation, mixed groups of teenaged boys and girls were allowed to supervise young children, downstairs, with no adults. This is NOT acceptable. At all. I will say that my own son was one of the teens involved and we QUICKLY put an end to it from our end. He is simply not allowed.

Mommy2KandM

February 9th, 2004, 04:03 PM

Originally posted by MrsG0529
It isn't a matter of who I trust. In this situation, mixed groups of teenaged boys and girls were allowed to supervise young children, downstairs, with no adults. This is NOT acceptable. At all. I will say that my own son was one of the teens involved and we QUICKLY put an end to it from our end. He is simply not allowed.

I gotcha now.. the problem isn't so much that teenagers may or may not be able to watch young children.. but that the Church fails to see the problem with putting teenagers of the opposite sex alone together out of any adult supervision.

Your right.. sounds like a big door opening for a lot of temptation, perhaps inappropriate flirting.. etc... to take place.

MrsG0529

February 9th, 2004, 04:20 PM

Originally posted by Mommy2KandM
I gotcha now.. the problem isn't so much that teenagers may or may not be able to watch young children.. but that the Church fails to see the problem with putting teenagers of the opposite sex alone together out of any adult supervision.

Your right.. sounds like a big door opening for a lot of temptation, perhaps inappropriate flirting.. etc... to take place.

See, this is where the problem with Pastor's daughter comes in. He thinks she is perfect and does nothing wrong. :rolleyes Whatever. In a way, I wish I would have never said anything but in my eyes, wrong is WRONG. Putting mixed groups of teens together unsupervised is asking for trouble, IMO. I don't care WHO the teens are.

Joseph Eley

February 9th, 2004, 05:05 PM

This is NOT acceptable.

Sorry but I have to side with your pastor on this one.

And I wouldn't worry about church gossip, it will die down soon enough and the sad fact is going to another church won't be any different as far as gossip is concerned. Im sure God would want you to persevere. :):

cindyw

February 9th, 2004, 05:38 PM

Originally posted by Joseph Eley
Sorry but I have to side with your pastor on this one.

And I wouldn't worry about church gossip, it will die down soon enough and the sad fact is going to another church won't be any different as far as gossip is concerned. Im sure God would want you to persevere. :):

I completely disagree with you for the reasons I stated and I agree with MrsG0529's reasons. The PARENTS are responsible for the well being of their children. Hopefully, a Pastor would take a parent's feelings into consideration on this issue. I know a Pastor can't buckle to every whim of a parent, but when it comes to appropriateness and safety, it is an important issue.

Also, the fact that this was to be "private" yet everyone knows, is a BIG problem and needs to be addressed with this pastor. JMHO. Blessings in Jesus, Cindy:):

MrsG0529

February 9th, 2004, 05:54 PM

Originally posted by Joseph Eley
Sorry but I have to side with your pastor on this one.

You think it's OK for teenagers in mixed company to be left alone together? With no adult supervision? :confused

joint heir

February 9th, 2004, 05:59 PM

well it seems as to me as if the pastor was probably not gossiping.....but I bet he took the info to his wife...as all husbands do....probably wanting to share the concern and talk it over...
it looks like that is how the info got out to me....:sigh

before you jump ship....I would stick it out....maybe some others feel the same way and are waiting to see if you will get shut down...if you stick to your guns about what is appropriate and what is not....maybe you will gain support and the childcare situation might change....:):

I think only you can know for sure when it is time to leave and when it is time to stand....I'll pray for you....

regarding teens
and I would not let a teenager watch my child either....I don't care if it is a church...my daughter is my responsibility...and I will not allow anyone I do not know personally to watch her....

my church runs background checks ....has strict rules about men taking children to potty or diapering (for the men's safety and reputation as well as the kids) and the whole area is open to supervision....our pastor even stopped to question my husband when he was looking in one of the rooms (he was watching our daughter)....

churches are the new hunting ground for predators....we have to be vigilant...

Jael

February 9th, 2004, 06:16 PM

I think you raised a legitimate concern on both fronts...unsupervised teenagers should NOT be caring for the children without an adult present, and the problem is compounded because it is a mixed-gendered group. I would not leave my children in those circumstances either. Whether or not the pastor agreed with your comments, it really is unfortunate that it was handled so poorly. But I would definitely talk to him again and PRAY before leaving. It may be possible to clarify your concern and restore those relationships, without giving your church up. Try not to get caught up in the personalities and emotions flying around...keep the focus on your very reasonable concern for the welfare of the children and the teens...it will make it that much harder for anyone to attack you if your motive is clearly righteous.

Joseph Eley

February 9th, 2004, 06:50 PM

You think it's OK for teenagers in mixed company to be left alone together? With no adult supervision?

Yes.

But Im curious, how old are the teenagers and how old are the small children they are looking after?

Mrstks

February 9th, 2004, 07:48 PM

Originally posted by Joseph Eley
Yes.

But Im curious, how old are the teenagers and how old are the small children they are looking after?

Joseph why in the world would you think it is ok for teens to be left in mixed company without any supervision? And how does age matter? Unless you are talking about "adult" teens (18 &19) but even than hormones can get to you. And what about the whole issue of appearance of evil?

Stephanie, you know my thoughts, know that I am praying for you in this situation.

Morning Glory

February 9th, 2004, 08:49 PM

We are in the process of finding a new church. We have been at our present one for 2 years.

We have a new pastor (came last fall) and something just doesn't seem right. I can't quite put my finger on it. Besides, my kids (12 and 14) have been terribly bored there. I don't want them to grow up with an "church is someplace boring we have to go to every week" attitude.

We visited a much larger church yesterday. They have a very active youth program (our present church has a floundering youth program).

So, at this point I really want to be sure to find a church where my kids can be a part, and want to be a part.

I don't know if that is a good reason to leave a church. I feel it is...

nanato3

February 10th, 2004, 12:13 AM

HI; Usually I just read but I had to jump in on this. Two years ago I left my church after at least 30 years:freaked .... Our pastor of 8 years was a pretty good speaker on Sunday mornings (or so I thought) his mid-week prayer meeting was horrible. We covered the Book of the Reveltion in less than 20 weeks. (example)Pastor would read. .."In the beginning God created the Heavens and the earth".. then he would ask"what did God do ?? everyone would answer "created the Heavens and the earth. On to verse 2....Also, there was the worst annimosity between he and I that it was palpable.. everyone felt it..I was told by family members to be patient and he would soon leave, seven or eight years later I was near my breaking point. All I could seem to hear from the Lord was "come out from among them" I wasn't sure where this was coming from. Now I know it was from the Lord. Found out that this pastor was a 32nd degree mason and the rest of the church didn't care. Anyway I found the most amazing church in about two or three weeks after leaving the former one and it is the best thing I ever did.Former pastor passed away several months after I left and his obituary never mentioned that he was a minister ..but did say that he was a 32nd degree mason:(: Sorry so long ..Please leave if You've sought the Lord and still have no peace,..

cindyw

February 10th, 2004, 09:22 AM

Originally posted by nanato3
Found out that this pastor was a 32nd degree mason and the rest of the church didn't care.

Nana, this is very widespread in the Church------Masonic leadership. It's very troubling to say the least if you know anything about the Masonic brotherhood and their beliefs. What I have found to be the case with those who don't care about Masons being in leadership in their churches: They are completely uninformed about the beliefs of Freemasonry and they DON'T want to know---------they want to stay where they are no matter what.....it's the hands over the ears thing. They like the music, like the youth programs, etc and don't want to make a change.........

It sounds like to me that the animosity you and your pastor had for each other was spiritually based, but that's JMHO. Glad you found a Church you love.......Blessings in Jesus, Cindy:):

cindyw

February 10th, 2004, 09:35 AM

Originally posted by Morning Glory
We are in the process of finding a new church. We have been at our present one for 2 years.

We have a new pastor (came last fall) and something just doesn't seem right. I can't quite put my finger on it. Besides, my kids (12 and 14) have been terribly bored there. I don't want them to grow up with an "church is someplace boring we have to go to every week" attitude.

We visited a much larger church yesterday. They have a very active youth program (our present church has a floundering youth program).

So, at this point I really want to be sure to find a church where my kids can be a part, and want to be a part.

I don't know if that is a good reason to leave a church. I feel it is...

Morning, I wouldn't leave under those conditions, but that's just me. Not being able to "put your finger" on something is not a good reason. It may be that this pastor is new and you are not used to him. I have found that when new pastors come, there usually is a turnover in church membership------because people measure the new with the old, preferring the old because that's what they're used to. I would give this new pastor time.

IMHO, the MOST important thing is doctrine. Does this new Pastor preach the ENTIRE counsel of the Lord? A thing I do consider as this thread was speaking about is safety of my children. If I dont' feel comfortable with that, it WILL affect my desire to be at that church. Personally, the "bored" factor will never enter into my decision. In this day and age kids are beyond overstimulated. I am very turned off by the present "flesh" principle which is in the Church now which just is adding to the "overstimulation" and hunger for more fun. It seems everything must be FUN to be good. I think we need to teach our kids the seriousness of being biblically grounded. My DH and I teach sunday school and we do try to make it fun/interesting, so I do understand that there needs to be balance----especially with the really young children............keep praying..........Blessings in Jesus, Cindy:):

joy4Him2day

February 10th, 2004, 10:02 AM

Originally posted by MrsG0529
We are considering leaving our church. I just wanted some opinions on what are good reasons to leave a church and what are bad reasons to leave.

when God tells you to leave.....then it's time to leave.....otherwise, it's going through something that builds character, not around......

i remember years ago, divorced women complaining that no one understood their state in our church ....and saying, I gotta go find a church that does......I said, Why don't you stay and start the understanding?
none of them would.......:(:

Morning Glory

February 10th, 2004, 10:13 AM

Originally posted by cindyw
Morning, I wouldn't leave under those conditions, but that's just me. Not being able to "put your finger" on something is not a good reason. It may be that this pastor is new and you are not used to him. I have found that when new pastors come, there usually is a turnover in church membership------because people measure the new with the old, preferring the old because that's what they're used to. I would give this new pastor time.

IMHO, the MOST important thing is doctrine. Does this new Pastor preach the ENTIRE counsel of the Lord? A thing I do consider as this thread was speaking about is safety of my children. If I dont' feel comfortable with that, it WILL affect my desire to be at that church. Personally, the "bored" factor will never enter into my decision. In this day and age kids are beyond overstimulated. I am very turned off by the present "flesh" principle which is in the Church now which just is adding to the "overstimulation" and hunger for more fun. It seems everything must be FUN to be good. I think we need to teach our kids the seriousness of being biblically grounded. My DH and I teach sunday school and we do try to make it fun/interesting, so I do understand that there needs to be balance----especially with the really young children............keep praying..........Blessings in Jesus, Cindy:):

Thank you for your input, Cindy. I do appreciate it.

Yes, I have thought perhaps it's just the newness of the pastor and something we would get used to. But he speaks extremely fast (even told us in his trial sermon that that's just the way he is). I can barely grasp what he's saying (and I would say I'm the most biblically grounded one in the family), so I know my kids are totally lost in trying to follow him. DH, tunes him out completely and is off in la la land.

The church we visited Sunday has a worship service for the youth (and their parents). It's very contemporary. My dd (who is 14 and negative about everything) said she enjoyed it! That spoke volumes to me! DS actually asked if we were going back there next Sunday (he never was eager to go to our former church).

Our former church had a new youth pastor (2 years experience), he's a good guy, but very unorganized and having a very hard time I think. My ds has tried to make friends there for 2 years. You wouldn't think boys would have it as difficult, but he has had a terrible time breaking into the boys "clique" there. Other mothers have told me their sons had the same experience.

So, while it may not be the best reason to leave a church. DH has tuned out, the kids are bored and not able to have good Christian fellowship with others their age...

When I think it can be found elsewhere, we'll keep looking. A relationship with God is anything but boring, and I want my kids to be able to see and experience that.

mochamom

February 10th, 2004, 12:54 PM

Morning Glory, I know it is hard to have kids who are bored with Church!

If I may throw something out here, the new movement in churches is to entertain, to get as many people in the door as they can. It is called the seeker church movement. As great as it sounds to get lots of people to church, it is NOT great if there has been a compromise of the Word.

I have just left my church of 8 years, for these reasons. It became so large, I was lost. We weren't preached to about the Blood of the Lamb, or sin, or hell. We were given psychology lessons, backed up by scripture. And acted out in skits...:freaked

I know you don't know me, but, please, consider these things. Is the Word of God being taught there~even to children, without compromise?

Thanks,
Stephanie :wave

Morning Glory

February 10th, 2004, 01:40 PM

Originally posted by mochamom
Morning Glory, I know it is hard to have kids who are bored with Church!

I have just left my church of 8 years, for these reasons. It became so large, I was lost. We weren't preached to about the Blood of the Lamb, or sin, or hell. We were given psychology lessons, backed up by scripture. And acted out in skits...:freaked

I know you don't know me, but, please, consider these things. Is the Word of God being taught there~even to children, without compromise?
Stephanie :wave

Well, now that you mention it, since our temporary pastor left to make room for our new pastor, I don't think we've heard to much about sin or hell. The temp. pastor could step on some toes really well! :): He knew how to call sin a sin and preached on a variety of touchy subjects that you don't hear much anymore.

But unfortunately he's gone, and now we have what you call, "psychlogy lessons," or "how to" lessons.

The kids... well I never heard about what they were being taught in SS. They would both complain it was so "boring" and that's as much as I could get out of them. Yes, the youth group did some fun things, but rarely were there ministries to take part in, it was all about parties and get togethers.

So... I really think it's time to move on.