Need some verses re: husbands

[Singlesis]

I'm re-doing my website to minister to those women who are or have been in abusive relationships. This is NOT about divorce, so please let's not go there. It's about safety and guilt... period. So many times these abusive men twist or quote scriptures to make their wives feel they must endure whatever the man does... but I want scripture depicting how the "Christian husband" should treat his wife, etc.
Thanks in advance for your help.

[antsinmypants]

try searching on www.blueletterbible.org

or download e-sword at www.e-sword.net

:):

otherwise, here's the rundown:


Husband:

http://www.blueletterbible.org/tmp_dir/words/1074200671-3644.html

Husbands:

http://www.blueletterbible.org/tmp_dir/words/1074200705-7543.html

[Paul]

That looks like a good site. I'm going to add a link to it from my site tonight.

Here's some verses from Torrey's Topical...

Husbands.

- Should have but one wife Ge 2:24; Mr 10:6-8; 1Co 7:2-4.
Have authority over their wives Ge 3:16; 1Co 11:3; Eph 5:23.

- Duty of, to wives

To respect them. 1Pe 3:7.
To love them. Eph 5:25-33; Col 3:19.
To regard them as themselves. Ge 2:23; Mt 19:5.
To be faithful to them. Pr 5:19; Mal 2:14,15.
To dwell with them for life. Ge 2:24; Mt 19:3-9.
To comfort them. 1Sa 1:8.
To consult with them. Ge 31:4-7.

- Not to leave them, though unbelieving. 1Co 7:11,12,14,16.

- Duties of, not to interfere with their duties to Christ Lu 14:26; Mt 19:29.

- Good-Exemplified

Isaac. Ge 24:67.
Elkanah. 1Sa 1:4,5.

- Bad-Exemplified

Solomon. 1Ki 11:1.
Ahasuerus. Es 1:10,11.

[antsinmypants]

Originally posted by Paul
- Bad-Exemplified

...Ahasuerus. Es 1:10,11.

I kinda have a problem with this.

Though Ahasverus' command was-- not the best (he was drunk at the time)-- his wife was the one at fault... she was disobedient, hauty and disrespectful.

Esther was the complete opposite, and her son was the king who funded Jerusalem being rebult. :wave

[msvol]

Hey Singlesis!
I don't have anything to add. I respect you for tackleing
a ministery to help these ladies. I will ask that you consider
a major area of this ministery might be to focus more on
each women's self esteem and personal Loving relationship
with Jesus and less on what the Men have done wrong.
These Women cannot change how these Men act but can
take responsibility for their own actions and realtionship
with THE #1 Man in their lives/Jesus. I agree that it is SO
important to show them where they have been brainwashed
with bad twisting of the scriptures. Just make sure that the
clarification is not used against the abuser to "Show Him
where He lied to Me" This will amount to throwing Gasoline
on a Fire. Then the man might use it to justify physical abuse
because "you were disrespectful to me" I will keep you and
these ladies in my prayers. Trust the Lord to guide you.
As you can tell, I have been on the receiving end of abusive
realtionship in the past. No Longer thanks to Jesus. So this is
a subject that is close to my heart.

Tonya

[Rom831]

Originally posted by Singlesis
I'm re-doing my website to minister to those women who are or have been in abusive relationships. This is NOT about divorce, so please let's not go there. It's about safety and guilt... period. So many times these abusive men twist or quote scriptures to make their wives feel they must endure whatever the man does... but I want scripture depicting how the "Christian husband" should treat his wife, etc.
Thanks in advance for your help.

Ephesians 5
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.
31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.
32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

These are the verses following the one men try to misuse to get women to obey any whim. Basiclly what they say is that the man is to treat his bride Like Christ treated His bride, the church. So not only look for verses of how husbands are to treat their wives, but look for how Christ treated His bride.

What all did Christ do for us? What did He do when His bride strayed, ignored Him and even tortured Him to death? ALL these things are what we as men are to do for our wives even in the worst of situations.

Besides that, remember the wife is also suppose to submit to Christ. And between the government, the husband and Christ (all of which she is to obey), she must obey Christ first, above all else. If the husband is abusing her, submitting to this is submitting to the husband, but is it submitting to Christ? When Christ sent the disciples out, what did He say to them if they encountered a place or people that were against them? He said to "shake the dust off your feet when you leave..."

And what is grounds for leaving? Jesus said Matthew 19:9
"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness..." Notice this doesn't say "adultry, but marital unfaithfulness. I would contend that abusing a spouse IS being unfaithful in the duties of a marriage.

Bless...ArtS

[Hyssop]

[i]
And what is grounds for leaving? Jesus said Matthew 19:9
"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness..." Notice this doesn't say "adultry, but marital unfaithfulness. I would contend that abusing a spouse IS being unfaithful in the duties of a marriage.

Bless...ArtS [/B]

I hate to butt in here but there is something important to share,

the word there in Matt 19:9 that is "marital unfaithfulness" was translated and actually taken from the Greek word Porneia, which is female and means female harlotry, adultery, incest, fornication.

Pornos is used for male and Porneuo is for either sex but Porneia was used very specifically as female in that verse, so actually the only grounds for divorce would be if his wife was a harlot ect. So, it would actually read more like this: Whoever divorces (puts, away, gets rid of, abandons) his wife except for his wife's incest, harlotry, fornication adultery, ect.... and marries another...

[Hyssop]

Singlesis I'm sorry, I know this isn't about divorce, and that is why I pointed out that the scripture posted by ArtS was actually about men and divorce and not about how husbands should treat their wives. The scripture was being used way out of context.... My apologies for butting in.

[antsinmypants]

Bondservant's Thread (http://rr-bb.com/showthread.php?threadid=127349)

[Rom831]

Originally posted by Hyssop
I hate to butt in here but there is something important to share,

the word there in Matt 19:9 that is "marital unfaithfulness" was translated and actually taken from the Greek word Porneia, which is female and means female harlotry, adultery, incest, fornication.

Pornos is used for male and Porneuo is for either sex but Porneia was used very specifically as female in that verse, so actually the only grounds for divorce would be if his wife was a harlot ect. So, it would actually read more like this: Whoever divorces (puts, away, gets rid of, abandons) his wife except for his wife's incest, harlotry, fornication adultery, ect.... and marries another...

See? I admit when I'm wrong! I stand corrected. My apologies, the NASB usually does a better job at the translation.

Although it doesn't limit it to females, Strongs says:

1) illicit sexual intercourse
a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11,12

2) metaph. the worship of idols
a) of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols

Thank you for pointing that out...
Bless...ArtS

[Singlesis]

I knew it would come out sooner or later (the divorce thing). But my mother has permanent brain damage now because her ex- used/twisted scripture to convince her that she was not allowed to leave under any circumstance. So she stayed... or kept going back, and is now lucky to be alive. He quoted scripture all the time, but always forgot the parts about what the husbands' role is. Only what HERS was supposed to be. He never took responsibility for his actions or sins or whatever.

But yes, I hope to focus on the women, their relationship with Christ, their self-esteem, their health and well-being, their safety, etc. It is not up to me to advise them whether or not they should divorce their husbands.... I only wanted to discredit the men who assume it is their "God-given right as a husband to beat their wives into oblivion... er, submission".

Thanks for all the input!!!

[Hyssop]

Originally posted by Rom831
See? I admit when I'm wrong! I stand corrected. My apologies, the NASB usually does a better job at the translation.

Although it doesn't limit it to females, Strongs says:

1) illicit sexual intercourse
a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11,12

2) metaph. the worship of idols
a) of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols

Thank you for pointing that out...
Bless...ArtS

Your welcome.. I actually took it directly out of my New Strongs Exhaustive and 4202 porneia is female, unless I'm mistaken? 4205 is male and 4203 is either sex, 4202 as you listed harlotry ect. feminine. I see in the Matthew 19 verse you quoted, it is 4202 thus female...

BTW ArtS, I really hated to post- because I'm pretty positive that you are a man, please know I was not attempting to teach, nor have any type of authority. I just wanted to relay correctly what the translation said. Because I wanted people to see the actual context of the scripture.

{{ Singlesis }} I know why you are led to help these women and I think it is very loving an Christian of you. I'm so very sorry to hear about your mother.

Blessings.

Respectfully, YSIC Hyssop

[joint heir]

I think you have the right approach single sis.....

knowledge is power and the truth will set you free....

women need to know what their responsiblity is .....and the church teaches this frequently.....but the wives need to know what the husband's responsiblity is too....

[antsinmypants]

Originally posted by joint heir
.....but the wives need to know what the husband's responsiblity is too....

...as do the husbands ;):

Amazingly, many do not. :(: